The Great Blondin

Slide12

Play 12, Day 12 – The Great Blondin

BLONDIN is an aerialist, the pioneer, dressed in outlandish old leotard decorated with spangles. He is balancing on a black beam, coming from offstage, with a thick rope atop it, with a long balancing pole held horizontally.

BLONDIN:
I owe my celebrity and fortune to traversing Niagara on a tightrope, more than a thousand feet long, 3 inch diameter rope and 150 ft above the water. This I did starting the last day of June, in 1859. Then I did it blindfolded, then on stilts, then in a sack, with a wheelbarrow, with a wheelbarrow filled with sacks, carrying my manager on my back (there’s     a metaphor for you!) cooking an omelet and standing on a chair balanced on a single leg.

MRS. BLONDIN crosses to him on the rope, easily balancing a tray.

MRS. BLONDIN:
Breakfast, cherie!

BLONDIN:
What is it?

MRS. BLONDIN:
Eggs Benedict on a bed of steamed spinach, some pomme-frits, lightly seasoned, some figs and pears, your favorite, specially selected Gouda and Manchengo cheeses with toasted points of rye and pumpernickel breads.

BLONDIN:
Splendid. I’ve just had an omelet, thank you. Just set it down.

MRS. BLONDIN:
It’ll get cold.

BLONDIN:
My hands are full.

MRS. BLONDIN:
Oh, so you can trundle you boss across the Niagara in a wheelbarrow, but you don’t have time to sit down with you wife and enjoy a late-moring brunch and share a meal with the lady who made if for you?

BLONDIN:
Oh, alright Mrs. B.

MRS. BLONDIN balances on the wire, and takes the top off
of the tray she carries, revealing BLONDIN’s breakfast.

Oh, my, you’ve outdone yourself!

MRS. BLONDIN:
Well, you’ve been working hard.

BLONDIN:
Not really. It’s all the same work, really, whether you’re 150 feet above a waterfall or in the backyard.

MRS. BLONDIN:
This is the backyard.

MRS. B serves BLONDIN his brunch there on the tightrope as LIGHTS FADE TO BLACK.

END OF PLAY.

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